


Incorrect SNK Quotes

by PrettyShit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Crack, Did I Mention Crack?, Explicit Sexual Content, Hypothetically, M/M, Not-so-straight-bros-living-together, Nudity, Oral Sex, The dialog is weird but, You could fap to this, You just got to let the boys breathe, chapter two gets sexual, it feels deceptive to tag this with porn tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 04:31:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19369780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyShit/pseuds/PrettyShit
Summary: Looking upon the photographs, Eren's lungs compressed seamlessly. He considered himself fortunate because he did not know the loneliness of solitude.Yet, Eren also had never been acquainted with the tranquility of privacy.“Uhm,” Armin squeaked. Glancing over, Eren noticed Armin stood in the living room with a stack of neatly woven blankets; seemingly having finished the laundry he’d begun that morning. More importantly, Eren realized, was Armin's position- within the living room- granting curious blue eyes full bestowal of his childhood friend's junk. “Eren. Why are you naked?”





	Incorrect SNK Quotes

**Author's Note:**

> My first (published) fanfiction, and it's a fucking crack-fic'. I'm just a tad bit salty about the recent manga chapters, so please overlook this. Rated (by someone unqualified to rate stuff) mature for nudity, language, and graphic depictions of Eren's "free" junk. Rating may go up, as this may be continued...? If this is something you'd appreciate, I encourage you to leave a comment telling me so. Thank you!

     With bronze skin glistening, Eren stepped over the copper tub’s rim to dry himself using a cotton bath towel. Fighting against the offensive friction of dry fabric skidding along wet flesh, he moved the towel down the expanse of his chest. The coarse white braids of fiber ruffled his flattened leg hair, soaked up the streams running down thick ridges of muscle, and painted his freshly purified body in tufts of loose wool. Once finished with fluffing his coffee-colored locks back to their naturally full state, Eren folded the cloth; returning it to the hook hung on the bathroom wall.  
  
     With bronze skin dried, Eren stepped out of the bathroom.  
  
     Bare feet slapped against the cherry-wood tiles as the brunet wandered the narrow hall. Every inch of the wall was blanketed in framed pictures of leisurely, carefree days: days spent with his family. In one, a younger reflection of Eren was smothered between his mother and father. In another, he flashed a toothy smile at the camera while hugging two smaller classmates from middle school. In all the pictures, Eren was not alone. He was invariably accompanied by a loved one.  
  
     Some were gone, yes, but any existing higher power had been forgiving. All sorts of outlandish types associated with him: including an eccentric, clever boy (a heretic) and a protective, robust girl (a feminine lady). Looking upon the photographs, Eren's lungs compressed seamlessly. He considered himself fortunate because he did not know the loneliness of solitude.  
  
     Yet, Eren also had never been acquainted with the tranquility of privacy.  
  
     “Uhm,” Armin squeaked. Glancing over, Eren noticed Armin stood in the living room with a stack of neatly woven blankets; seemingly having finished the laundry he’d begun that morning. More importantly, Eren realized, was Armin's position- within the living room- granting curious blue eyes full bestowal of his childhood friend's junk. “Eren. Why are you naked?”  
  
     For a moment, both examined their companion.  
  
     By the second moment of analysis, both milky and caramel complexions had stained a rosy tint.  
  
     Finally, Eren hastily cleared his throat and turned away from the blonde. “You forgot,” he bit out ineptly. Without explaining the situation further, Eren snaked past Armin; limp hair and genitals bouncing in his swift escape.  
  
     “Uhm, uh.” His friend repeated.  
  
     Eren was never alone. Even when he longed for the sweet freedom of his heaviest burden (not to boast), Eren was continually followed like a brilliant spectacle. It was inevitable; living in an apartment with his most observant fellow. Still, this bittersweet reality could not completely deter the vehement energy of a Jaeger. If he needed to let the boys breathe, by golly, he would.  
  
     “ _Uhm_.”  
  
     Concerned- or, at least convinced of such innocent intentions- Armin reluctantly stretched to glance at the naked man from beyond the distance growing between them. Eren escaped into the kitchen, and with the blankets abandoned on the table, his friend warily followed.  
  
     “Eren,” he persisted, “why are you naked?”  
  
     But, how could Armin forget? When it came to fighting, living, and protecting his family, Eren was an ardent spirit. He always had been, and this was no exception. After all...  
  
     “ _Eren_!”  
  
     “Because… I was born into this world.”  
  
     Armin made no effort to conceal the furrow of his brows, and instead raised his voice as his distress increased. “What does that have to do with this?”  
  
     “Because I'm free.”  
  
     “But... why this? It’s indecent, so you must have some kind of strong motive. Something beyond it being your birthright to flaunt your physical blessings. Eren! It’s indecent!”  
  
     "I'm free. That's why," Eren reasoned. Whereas the statement compelled Armin to laugh, Eren's level tone and strong expression remained humorless. The blonde's jaw tightened to lessen the threat of an outburst of entertainment. "I am free... Whereas you are a slave to the confines of your garments."  
  
     "Eren," Armin cooed past tight lips. "Did you hit your head?"  
  
     Directing the attention of golden-dusted orbs to the ceiling, Eren mulled over his rebuttal. Sure, Annie had nearly sent him flying when he vocalized a dislike for dogs, Mikasa pulled his ear when he’d tried to swallow the gum in his mouth to avoid missing an important scene in a broadcasted anime, and he’d thrown a punch at Jean for complaining about the “deceptive” devices of makeup... but Eren hadn’t actually hit his head that day.  
  
     Before articulating his conclusion, Eren found himself distracted by Armin's wandering gaze: traveling down Eren's firm jaw, down the ample swelling of his lavish and exercised chest, down the columns of muscle along his torso, down his narrowed hips, and down even more with he guiding pubic path.  
  
     The brunet spoke up whilst his best friend's eyes widened; coming to a stop at Eren's crotch. "I didn't." Unintentionally, Eren's lips spread on his cheeks in a wide smirk. The smile parted, and he mused aloud, "did you?"

**Author's Note:**

> Psst, hey. If you leave a comment requesting this to continue, I'll totally do that (I have nothing better to do). Psst, feel free to make suggestions for the second chapter.


End file.
